i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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