i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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