Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
