he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
