I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
