Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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