i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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