So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
