Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pants are for mortals
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
