If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
