You're completely useless in the revolution.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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