i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
