plz talk dirty to me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
