I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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