Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize