just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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