someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
