I think i peed on brittanys purse
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Randomize
