Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
