I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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