If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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