Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Found your dick twin last night
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
