My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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