Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
