Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
