You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
