We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
