Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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