i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
