im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually