it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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