I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
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it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.