If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.