I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.