Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
