Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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