please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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