dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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