At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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