She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
