Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
