there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
