I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
