I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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