the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We just shotgunned beers for America
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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