Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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