You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
