yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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