...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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