Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize