I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
