okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
