All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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