it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
