I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
