Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
In America we eat man semen.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
