Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
