I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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