If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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