I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it glows. i had to have it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
