but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
