So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
