No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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