A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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