Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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