How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
