I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
