I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need to calm my uterus...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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