There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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