i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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