you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am naked and annoyed.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
